The Prequel to Ginny's Pranks
by Cynicism and Happiness
Summary: This isn't new. It just makes life easier. It's the two oneshots that come before Ginny's Pranks, for those of you who have read that.
1. Attack of the Weasleys

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of Harry Potter—except my stories

**A/N:** So, here's my oneshot, which was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing. Please read and review, if you like. (I _know_ you like Snape, Myrtle, but he's awesome to prank).

Snape was getting more and more nasty. Ginny was appalled. _I knew he was bad in my first year, when I first met him, because I was in Gryffindor, but still! How does he hate one group of students with such a passion?_

Ginny pondered.

Eventually, it came to her. _Fred and George! I'm only in second year, so I really don't want to screw up my record, but Fred and George have already ruined theirs. Plus, I think they'll want to help. _

Ginny sidled up to her fifth-year twin brothers, who were busily scribbling away at their DADA homework in a table in the corner (a rarity). "Hey, guys. Can you…"

George looked at her warily. "If it's homework, no can do. We kind of left ours a little late, and the most difficult part of it happens to be due tomorrow morning, sis. Sorry."

"It's not homework."

"You look depressed."

"It's Snape."

"Oh. Okay. What's up?"

"I kind of want to do something completely evil to him."

Fred jumped into the conversation. "And what, may one ask, is the cause of this desire for destruction?"

"The fact that I mixed in the wrong ingredient into my antidote, he humiliated me in front of the class and gave me a zero with the aid of that Evanesco spell, Robert Newbury laughed at me, and I accidentally-on-purpose turned Newbury's hair blue…and may have made his front teeth fall out, of course with the aid of my fist. Then Snape gave me extra homework, which I had to finish for today, and of course, I was up until two last night!"

"What was the homework?"

"An essay on the composition and effects of the Polyjuice Potion. And we haven't studied that, so I had to stay up, mainly for extra research!"

"Ouch."

Hermione, who had been listening in, came over. "You should have asked Harry and Ron. They'd know the effects. And I could have told you about the composition."

Ginny coloured at the mention of Harry Potter, but her embarrassment soon left her as she thought over another question. She frowned at Hermione. "How do you know about the composition? And how do Ron and…H-Harry know the effects? You shouldn't have studied it that to that extent yet."

It was Hermione's turn to turn bright red. "Oh! Erm—never mind that. I'll just, um, go finish my Charms homework…" She rapidly left the table, looking rather guilty.

Fred and George grinned at Ginny. She was definitely going in the right direction. Besides, for a chance to do something to Snape, homework could always wait…

Snape woke up the next morning. He threw open his closet to find his usual black robes. He stared at the contents in surprise. "What the…?"

For, in place of his robes, there were several long, dark-coloured dresses, with large, dark shawls folded neatly on the top shelf.

Snape searched his room, frantically. There was no sign of his clothing anywhere. He yelled out his frustration. Snape was really not in the mood to go down to breakfast wearing a shirt that advertised a Weird Sisters concert and plaid boxer shorts, which were his current lovely little nightclothes.

Several floors above, on top a trapdoor that a certain silver ladder led to, Professor Trelawney was quite annoyed to find that several of her favourite shawls were missing, as well as a few dresses of hers.

"The indignity of it…"

Snape came down to breakfast, quite reluctantly. Ginny snickered. Fred nearly swallowed his spoon. George inhaled his orange juice.

Snape was wearing the Weird Sisters shirt and (tied over his boxer shorts) a purple, spangled shawl, worn rather like a sarong. Gold stars patterned the shawl. Fuzzy, orange socks (a Christmas present from Dumbledore, which he never used) were on his feet.

The teachers' reactions displayed amusement as well. Professor Dumbledore chuckled. Professor McGonagall smiled. Hagrid let out a loud, booming laugh. Professor Flitwick giggled. Professor Sinistra laughed. Professor Sprout whistled through her teeth and clapped. Professor Vector snorted loudly. Professor Lupin rolled around in hysterics.

Snape was turning red and seemed about to explode. But, it was too late; now the students were laughing hysterically too.

What made the situation even more entertaining was the fact that Trelawney came down to breakfast in quite a temper at that specific moment.

She stopped in shock to see Snape in his new ensemble—and recognized part of it.

She rushed down upon him like an eagle. "Thief! Robber! Bandit! So this is how my service is repaid! My own colleague steals from me! How _dare_ you!"

Trelawney chased Snape across the Great Hall, screaming.

"And what have you done with my other belongings, vagabond? Hm? I suppose they are in your rooms? And why have you decided to come down in drag? I do not like this at all, Severus! You, you—thief!"

Snape was holding up his sarong as he sprinted, lest he trip, or it fall off.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, woman!"

"Thief!"

"Ouch—no, stop, you insane, overgrown dragonfly!"

"VILLAIN!"

George stuck out his foot as Snape was running past the Gryffindor table…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!"

Snape fell over onto the cold, stone floor. Trelawney pounced—and tore off her shawl, away from Snape. The Half-Blood Prince (though no one was aware of the title yet) became The Half-Clothed Potions Master. Angrily, Trelawney marched back to her tower.

Snape tried (as best he could) to cover his little plaid boxers, and his unusually red face, while everyone (including McGonagall) laughed.

The next week, the Gryffindor common room and the Great Hall were filled with enlarged, moving pictures of the whole incident: Snape coming down to the Great Hall in his interesting costume, the chase, Trelawney taking back her shawl, and Snape's ending embarrassment.

You see, reader, no one had noticed Colin Creevey snapping away with his camera during the whole scene.

And no one knew that he'd given the photos to Fred, George, and Ginny that night…


	2. Revenge of Snape

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of Harry Potter—or Star Wars titles (I'm trying to cover everything; I prefer not to get sued). Deal with it.

**Revenge of the Snape**

**A/N:** I have difficulty with creative writing sometimes, and I really hope I got better. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers—and of course to my beta (don't we love Snape) for her immaculate comma usage (grammar Nazi) and for teaching me how to swear in British.

B/N: Hi! For all of you that don't know this is a beta note. Just so you all know I love Snape and yet I find this absolutely hilarious… I have brain issues… Bye!

Snape was seething mad. Not only had his plaid boxers been so rudely exposed in front of the whole school by the one and only Professor Trelawney, but pictures of this adventure were still hanging up in the Great Hall two months later, giving everyone who passed by a laugh. Even now.

Snape had no idea that Ginny, Fred, and George Weasley had planned all this. He never realized the painstaking efforts they had taken to get into his dungeon room while Snape was at a very late dinner with Dumbledore discussing Lupin (and how he allegedly assisted Sirius Black in breaking into the castle, thus frightening the Fat Lady away from her usual post in front of the Gryffindor Tower).

And this was perfectly good for the troublemaking Weasley siblings, who, frankly, were quite surprised that they hadn't been caught yet. The Weasley twins were very surprised. You see, reader, they were not novices at the fine and ancient art of troublemaking in school. They were usually caught, only they'd laugh it off.

Ginny had never done anything like this before and she felt slightly guilty. She'd never broken a school rule before (oh, okay, except for strangling four roosters, writing threatening messages on the walls, stealing from a Gryffindor student—that would be the diary, and opening a Dark chamber—but then again, she'd been possessed).

But someone _had _to show Snape his place and that she had done.

However, Snape blamed _Trelawney_ as opposed to the Weasleys.

Unfortunately for the Weasleys, this unawareness did not last.

Actually, Ginny was not quite the target of Snape's wrath in the next week; rather, it was _Fred and George_.

The Gryffindors were perfectly aware of the culprits. But they wouldn't snitch, not in an eternity. But there were Slytherin students who _would_ tell. One of them was…the one…the only…

Draco Abraxas Malfoy (**B/N:** Malfoy Sexi!)

Ginny was a little worried and she confined her fears to a friend whom she knew would not tell (Luna was kind of unaware of everything she saw and heard, unless it was outrageously far-fetched. Obviously, she wouldn't actually be listening; Ginny just needed to pour out her feelings on the subject of her "attack" and used Luna as her outlet).

"But seriously, Luna, I feel awful. I mean, would you like it if you were—were—_exposed_ like that?"

"Mm…"

"And I probably shouldn't have given the photos of him to Colin Creevey. Colin's sweet, but he is a bit overenthusiastic, you think?"

"…"

"And what made it worse was the laughter! Poor Snape! No, not poor Snape. Why do I feel sorry for him? He's a dumb…well, you know."

"Mm. Lovely."

"He treats everyone so horribly! Except for his own Slytherin students, of course, as he favours them…but two wrongs really don't make a right…do they?"

"…"

"Should I give myself up?"

"…"

"No, I don't think I'll give myself up. Plus, it was kind of funny. But I promise not to play pranks on anyone else from now on."

"…"

"It's just not very nice. I feel so naïve. Fred and George have no compunctions. I shouldn't either? But Percy makes me feel so guilty."

"Do you know that the Head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation—Bartemius Crouch—just got struck by a Thunderbolt from one of You-Know-Who's supporters—he's still at large—um, right, Dolohov. Him, yes, well, he struck down Crouch and believe it or not, Crouch woke up speaking _Cantonese_."

"I'm leaving."

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But one other person _was_ listening—Draco Abraxas Malfoy.

Oh, you little eavesdropper, what shall we do with you?

So Malfoy ran off to his favourite teacher of all time.

"Professor! Professor! Iknowwhodoneit!"

"Who done what?"

"_You know_. That thing where you came down in drag and totally humiliated yourself when Trelawney…"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

"But sir…"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW AND I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER! Wait—did you say you know who did it?"

"Ye-e-es, but I'm not telling!"

"Now—now, Draco, let's not be unreasonable—I—um, lost myself for a moment."

"I'll say."

"None of your mouth. Now, who did you say did that?"

"Well, _sir_, I was about to tell you, it's Weasley, Weasley, and Weasley."

"Draco. I am losing my patience! By the way that does **not** help."

"Oh, right." Malfoy went red (**B/N:** Can you believe it? Malfoy BLUSHED! Naz, you will suffer! I am going to get you!). "The clones and Weaselette."

"Ahh. Hm. Well, I do believe that you have a tendency to exaggerate things a little, Draco. I can't possibly believe Miss Weasley would do something like that, particularly after I'd just given her detention, but the _clones_, as you so delicately put it, may have something to do with—with—my _humiliation_."

"Yes sir, and can you…?"

"What, Draco?"

Malfoy went red. He was hoping for some extra points. "Never mind."

"Ah, yes of course, you deserve a treat." Malfoy smiled, a rarity. "I just made Toad Truffles. Would you like to lick the spoon?"

Malfoy had had experiences with Snape's cooking, especially when he and his father came to Snape's for dinner when Malfoy was quite a young boy. These experiences were not pleasant.

"Erm, no thanks, sir, I'll be going."

Disappointed, he sprinted upstairs. _Hm. Well, at least the Weasley clones will be getting in trouble._

Snape thought to himself. _Why don't I just do something to them besides detention?_

He smiled to himself.

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Snape walked around his fifth-year class the next day. As Fred and George went off to the supply cabinet to get some more bezoars for their antidotes (and to steal Potions supplies for their joke-shop experiments, no doubt), Snape surreptitiously opened their bags. _Excellent. Here we are._

Snape stole a couple of the fireworks Fred and George had been working on over the summer. One was shaped like a dragon, the other like a huge phoenix. Both had the words "Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-Bangs" in a glittery blue emblazoned across their sides. Snape grinned.

Snape spied on the twins over the day. He saw them enter a broom closet that they really should not have been in. _Maybe there's a way to trap them in there with the fireworks. _

He heard them say, "We're back in here tonight? I think we can experiment with that potion here."

"Yeah, okay. But make sure McGonagall doesn't see us. She always passes this corridor to get to her office."

Snape smiled.

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Trelawney looked in dismay at her room. More sherry bottles had piled up. _Oh, why don't I clean up instead of letting everything just sit?_

She had a meeting with Dumbledore the next day to discuss her exam schedule for the students. She really didn't want him to see what a mess that room was. _Now where to hide all this mess?_

Snape crept down to the closet, lit the firecrackers, and stashed them inside the closet. He had no idea they would do, and he really wanted Fred and George to find out for him. _I think they'll go off in about ten minutes_…

Trelawney crept down to the closet with her numerous sherry bottles wrapped in a voluminous, green shawl. _Ah, what an excellent place to hide my "personal items"… _

Fred and George crept down to the closet and smiled. They were not there to experiment with anything. _This will be fun…_

Five Minutes Later…

Snape was irritated. He could not figure out why the twins had not seen the rather obviously placed firecrackers and cursing at the locked closet door. He'd hidden around the corner and had heard someone enter. Then he'd locked the door. But he did not hear boys' voices. There was an odd clinking sound.

He unlocked the door, stuffed the key in his pocket, and walked in, shutting the door behind him. Unfortunately, he did not realize that the key _and_ his wand had fallen out…

Trelawney was carefully placing her sherry bottles on the top shelf of the closet, hoping none of them would fall off.

_Oh, look at that, one was three-quarters full. Well, might as well not waste good sherry…_

Fred and George were outside the closet looking severely constipated with holding their laughter in. They'd gotten Ginny out of her dormitory to see what was going to happen. They weren't technically breaking the rules; it was still only six-thirty.

George scraped the key in the lock, praying that no one inside heard the turn of the intricate, little tumblers inside…

"Trelawney!"

"Snape!"

"What are you—you're not supposed to—what's that you're holding?"

"Erm, well—I…" She flushed bright red. "Nothing."

"I see then, have you seen those two redheaded troublemakers?"

"Hm?"

"Fred and George Weasley."

"Oh, um, no. So sorry Potions Master."

"That's all right, now, seeing as they're not here…what a disappointment, I think we'll just go." He turned the knob. "What the…?"

"Is there something amiss?"

"It's locked!"

"Ah, Snape, the omens were never good…"

"Shut up, you old bat! We're stuck in here and…oh sh—"

_BOOM_

Fred, George, and Ginny smiled.

Inside the closet, there was less calmness.

"AHH! A dragon!" A great, fiery, lethal-looking, golden dragon was spitting sparks over the closet's unfortunate occupants.

"Put it out with whatever liquid you're holding!"

"Not my sherry!"

"YES YOUR SHER…"

At that instant, the phoenix was ablaze, emitting great, orange fireballs from its bright red beak. Snape's hair caught on fire. He grabbed a blanket off a shelf and smothered the flames. However, the damage was done and Snape had a large, charred bald patch on the top of his head.

Trelawney was aiming the sherry at the dragon (which was even more lethal in the enclosed space) like a grenade. Sadly though, the sherry, being alcohol, made the flames worse.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"BLOODY HELL TRELAWNEY! DAMMIT! DO SOMETHING NOW!"

Fred decided that it was time to let the unfortunate professors out, before something really bad happened. He quickly turned the key in the lock, threw it down the hallway and flung open the door. Snape and Trelawney fell out of the closet. The dragon and phoenix chased Professor Flitwick and Professor McGonagall down the hallway. Both professors had come to see what was going on (Snape and Trelawney were busy screaming bloody murder).

Snape and Trelawney leaned against the wall looking sooty and extremely disheveled.

Snape had a rather obvious bald patch on the top of his head and what hair he had left was smoking.

Trelawney looked quite insane with her lopsided glasses, smoking hair, and a burnt sherry bottle, clutched in one hand. Her robes were quite smoky as well.

Fred snickered to himself.

George looked innocently at each professor, who glared back at him.

"My, my, Professors Trelawney and Snape. Sherry, disheveled clothes, and a closet. Now whatever are people going to think of this?"

Ginny grinned. "Shame, shame."

Fred smiled as Malfoy ran down the hall, screaming while the phoenix spouted its orange fireballs at his head. Life was good.

It was a good thing Ron had been eavesdropping on Malfoy and Snape's conversation as he'd waited outside the dungeon, because he'd forgotten his bag.

All the Weasleys were mischievous and fun-loving through and through, except maybe Percy, of course, who gave the twins quite a telling-off when they came back to the common room that night with their sister.


End file.
